COVID culture: Which zoom student are you?

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Since the beginning of the pandemic, we have slowly seen a COVID Culture come to life. A key aspect of this new way of life is Zoom meetings, which has been a strange new experience for all of us. There are so many types of Zoom students, but which one are you?

The icebreaker

Easily the most important member of the class. There’s absolutely nothing worse than when the tutor puts a question to the group, but ten seconds of awkward silence ensues as no one knows the answer, or simply not brave enough to turn on their mic. But then, luckily the icebreaker steps in to save the day, knowing just what to say to keep the class flowing.

The virtual background maestro

There’s always one. Every class has that one meme expert who finds new ways to raise the tutor’s eyebrow every lesson with comical, virtual backgrounds. Some personal favourites of mine include The Office interview room and the distracted boyfriend meme.

The slow wi-fi victim

This one is always painful to watch. Their camera lags, their microphone cuts out, their voice begins to sound like a robot. It’s worse when the tutor’s connection is poor, and no one has the guts to say anything, so the class just sit in silence *queue the crickets*.

The ghost

One of the greatest mysteries in every class. A student who is there, but both their camera and microphone is turned off. To top it off, there is no profile picture. They’re just a name, or sometimes only an initial, lurking in the shadows.

The late riser

I think we’ve all been there at least once or twice (or a few times). You were up late last night smashing out assignments and now have an early morning class. You set yourself ten alarms but that’s still not enough to get you up. So, you attend class laying in the comfort of your sheets while rocking your best bed hair and pyjamas.

The foodie

Comparable to that one person who brings hot chips on a train carriage. Every now and then you’ll be sitting in a Zoom class, starving as you think about what you’ll be eating afterwards. Then, to rub salt in the wounds, another student unashamedly whips out a gourmet lunch. Just cruel.

The early bird

There’s nothing quite as nerve-racking as when you jump onto your Zoom tutorial a bit earlier for a change and no one else has signed in yet. You are overcome with questions and self-doubt. “Do we have a week off? Did I click the wrong link?” But then relief washes over you as the early bird swoops in to ease your nerves.

The pet parent

An absolute must for brightening the mood in a long, early morning lecture. It’s just so wholesome when a class is interrupted by a dog or a cat curling up next to a student mid-class. “Hey mum, can I do a Zoom with you?”

Jye Campbell

Jye is a third-year Communications (Journalism) student with a passion for writing sport, music and…

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