DISCLAIMER: The motion proposed by the Student Representative mentioned below is true. However, the following content is entirely fictional and exaggerated for comedic effect. Enjoy the humorous nature of the article and understand that any resemblance to real individuals or events is purely coincidental.
Members of the SRC have introduced a motion to allocate $5000 of student funds to install a statue of former SRC president, Rameez Parkar. However, when we asked students about the current proposal they were confused as to who Parkar is.
The former SRC president finished his term late last year and has been praised heavily by two SRC members in particular, who put the motion forward as an homage to their beloved leader. SRC Online Student representative Caitlin Marlor, the mover of the motion, says:
“Understanding the importance of acknowledging exceptional leadership and the positive impact it can have on the student body, we propose the allocation of $5000 from the SRC funds towards the creation of a statue of Rameez Parkar at Parramatta South Campus …
Rameez’s tenure as President has been exemplary, marked by his dedication, achievements, and commitment to serving the student community. Through this motion, we seek to honour Rameez Parkar’s remarkable leadership and recognise his significant contributions to the Western SRC.”
The motion was seconded by Laine Fox, the Parramatta City Campus Representative.
Whilst exemplary to some, there are students who never knew of Rameez’s existence. One student was puzzled over why they’d make a statue of someone living and even thought of alternatives.
“Yeah nah, I don’t know why they are making a statue if he isn’t dead. Aren’t they [statues] for dead people? Anyway, I reckon they should make a statue of the garbo at Parramatta South, guys a f***ing legend he helped me get my vape when I dropped it in the toilet,” one student said.
W’SUP polled 100 of our Instagram followers, asking what statue they would prefer with the categories chosen by the students we interviewed. The results were shocking, to say the least.
Only 3% of students surveyed wanted Rameez Parkar to be glorified through a campus statue, whilst at least 37% of students wanted the unidentified garbageman of Parramatta South to be bestowed the honour. Our data analyst could neither confirm or deny that the three accounts who voted for the former SRC president were Marlor, Fox and Parkar himself.
Interestingly 32% of students wanted ‘the couple I saw having sex in the campus bathrooms’ to be memorialised as a statue. One student stated their reasoning for the choice of this statue was “If I had to be traumatised by that, so should every student. I can’t battle it alone. We should memorialise these degenerates to spread awareness that students don’t want to witness anyone getting freaky before their fundamentals of finance tutorials.”
There have also been whisperings in the SRC about what the council may introduce next. A source from the SRC, who would like to remain anonymous, revealed a radical motion has been drafted.
“Now they want to add a portrait of Rameez to every classroom in all of the campuses to make sure the students know ‘who their loyalties should lie with’.
I heard them discuss how they want to make the student cohort swear a Pledge of Allegiance to Rameez at the start of every tutorial. I’m thinking of filing a grievance, but I am afraid of persecution.”
Ultimately, the motion was not supported by the majority of the SRC. Representatives, including the now-former SRC president Crystal Ram, cited concerns about the misuse of SSAF funds.
If you have any on-campus related issues or concerns you want to raise to the SRC or require further help as a student, reach out to the SRC at src@westernsydney.edu.au
