Laughing doesn’t always indicate that you’re happy and joyful.
Similarly, ‘I am fine’ often has different definitions.
‘I am fine’ might mean you’re hurt, you’re anxious, you’re feeling sad but you’re simply trying to ignore or suppress it.
Allow yourself to recognize and accept the variety of definitions hidden behind ‘I am fine’. Stop running from these emotions that we often label as “negative.”
You’re always trying to keep a straight face. You want to be okay because someone at some point of life has told you that not being fine makes you weak.
A strong person is supposed to be tough, not affected by their surroundings, always have a smile, control over their mind and emotions, and pretend to be happy.
But you’re strong the way you are, despite the times you cry.
Allow yourself, permit yourself to feel them. Refocus on yourself, stop controlling, hiding, suppressing, ignoring or even being afraid of them. Liberate yourself from the pressure of constantly feeling positive and happy. This constant pressure just creates more misery. It’s important to understand this, the more you try to suppress them, the more intensely you feel them. So let them flow in their pure way, it may be hard. But isn’t this hard too?
You cannot change how you feel, accept this.
You cannot control what you feel, accept this too.
Normalize yourself with these emotions.
Pick yourself up and say to yourself, “I’ll feel what I want to feel” Get over this fear and rip apart the emotions attached to the label that says, “Be strong and tough”. No one is judging you as hard as you are judging yourself.
It’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay if you want to cry. It’s okay not to smile all day. It’s okay if your soul is weary. It’s okay to feel low, to get hurt, to get upset. It’s okay if you don’t have the capacity to run through the entire day.
Forgive yourself for the fake smile you couldn’t put over your face when you were hurt.
Notice this, be empathetic to yourself before anyone else, listen to yourself, and listen to what you are trying to hide. And most essentially feel it.
This “c’mon, cheer up! Be happy!” doesn’t always work. Sometimes all you need to say to yourself is “I am not fine today and it’s okay” and give yourself space and the freedom to express yourself without any pressure of being happy.
This beautiful little heart of yours is not meant to be bottled up but to be poured.
